I need you to try something. When something goes wrong, cut out the excuses and blame. Accept the fault and move towards the solution. But you didn’t do it! Yes you did. Directly or indirectly we all are part of the success or failure of everything. It is our actions or inactions, participation or lack thereof that creates everything.
In battling to be right, we lose so many opportunities to solve problems. Seriously, who cares about right and wrong when faced with a problem? Isn’t it about finding a solution? How does placing blame get us anywhere we need to go?
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that habitual problems should be ignored. If you make a mistake or are faced with a problem, deal with it by finding the solution. Identify what created the problem and do what has to be done to make sure it doesn’t happen again. When a solution is found and executed, more times than not, the issue won’t arise again. It is when we push blame onto others when we should be shouldering it, that problems will become habitual.
Mistakes happen and should be a learning experience instead of an anvil to hammer people over. When we shift from blame to solution we achieve much more and create a greater degree of confidence in those around us that allows for greater success in the future. Constantly assigning blame destroys initiative and creates animosity. Blatant disrespect that leads to failure should be hammered but honest mistakes are part of the evolution of everyone.
The greatest successes are built on failure. Success is achieved by those that never quit when faced with failure. We only truly fail when we stop before getting to our goal. You only have to find success once, failure can and will happen many times. In the fails we have opportunity to learn, in success we have opportunity to share. Both are essential parts of the evolution of our human experience.
As a coach I have to deal with loss all the time. It sucks. I hate losing more than I like winning. I have to accept responsibility for losses no matter how ir why they occur. If I place the blame solely on the athlete I lose the opportunity to evaluate how I am training people. Every win and every loss is an experience to grow from. A guy doesn’t stick with the plan, I didn't do what was necessary to get their mind right. A guy gets taken down over and over, I didn’t do my job. A guy gets knocked out, I didn’t do my job….. I have to shoulder that responsibility because it is my job to communicate effectively and to train people to perform at their best. Yes, this is a partnership that depends on an individual's performance as much as my coaching ability, but I have to personally get rid of the excuses to fully evaluate and better my abilities.
I am not letting anyone off the hook for under performing. Your performance is on you and mine is on me. It is just my process. I shoulder it all and work daily to better myself as an effective communicator, motivator, and strategist.
It is not about right or wrong, it is about success. Don’t be self righteous today, it will take away tomorrow's victory.
Brian WrightKiller B Combat Sports & Fitness Academy